FUCK YOU – YOU LOOK LIKE A BRICK HIT YOUR MOTHER WHILE YOU WERE IN HER WOMB. ALSO YOU ARE AS SMART AS A BRICK BUT YOU ARE MUCH LESS USEFUL.
Yesterday when I turned up to work everyone was all,”OMG ZACH – WHAT TIME ARE YOU MEANT TO START???? OMG WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO RING YOU BUT WE DON’T HAVE YOUR NUMBER BECAUSE IT’S IN THE MANAGER’S OFFICE AND IT IS LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE WEEKEND AND OMG WE THOUGHT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE IN AT NINE. WHAT’S THAT? NO, WE DIDN’T CHECK THE ROSTER IN THE STAFF-ROOM BECAUSE WHO LOOKS AT THAT? OH, YOU DO? YOU LOOK AT YOUR ROSTER? YOUR ROSTER SAID TEN? OH. OK. TOMORROW COME AT NINE.”
Today when I turned up to work everyone was all, ‘OMG, ZACH! YOU ARE AN HOUR EARLY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
After that ordeal random people started picking on me:
“You can’t come to work looking like that. You aren’t wearing your hat.”
“I’m not actually working right now. That is why I don’t have my hat on.”
“No – you need to wear your hat and tie your hair up.”
“Look, when I actually start work I’ll put my hat on and sort my hair out.”
Later, on one of my breaks a manager asks me to help her take some stuff to the kitchen. As I leave the kitchen after completing her task I get this:
“Zach. You need to tie your hair up and put your work hat on.”
“Yes, I will do this when I START WORK.”
“OK. Go downstairs and put your hat on.”
“YES, I KNOW. I WEAR MY WORK HAT WHEN I’M WORKING. THAT IS WHY IT IS CALLED A WORK HAT.”
Later still, in the cash room:
“I told a few people off today about uniform, including this one.” (referring to me)
“I told you, I was on my break. I’ll tie my hair up when I’m working.”
THEN SOME OTHER FUCKING BITCH WHO ISN’T EVEN A MANAGER PIPES UP: “You’re working now and you don’t have your hair up!”
“I’m in the cash room – not around food. I don’t see any cups of coffee around here that my hair can fall into.”
“No – tying your hair up is an OSH regulation”
“I don’t think having long hair is a danger to my safety”
“Yes it is! That guy up North got scalped when he was working in the mill!”
“The saw mill? With the big fucking machinery? Cutting up trees?”
“Well, there is machinery here!”
“In the cash room? The only machinery here is that calculator.”
“There is other machinery in the airport!”
“Where I work there are lattes and flat whites and the cash room. I don’t think I am going to get scalped by the steam wand.”
Then she stopped talking BECAUSE I HAD BURNED HER ASS and her till didn’t balance.
Mine didn’t either but WHO FUCKING CARES?
I am so sick of frumpy bitches hassling me.
I KNOW I HAVE LONG HAIR – PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
Your job sounds really shit.
What kind of hat do you have to wear?
YAYYA!! I LOVE HOSPO BITCHES!!
HIJACK A PLANE.
and why are there boobs suddenly.