NOOOO THE GOVERNMENT IS CONTROLLING MY LIFE AND NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME OF IT (MY LIFE)

I remember when those ads about asking your kids how their day at school went or helping them eat a meal that wasn’t retarded starting broadcasting on TV and some parents were all, “THIS IS AN OUTRAGE – HOW DARE THE GOVERNMENT TELL US HOW TO PARENT OUR CHILDREN!!!!!1″ (note: I looked for sources on these ads but I couldn’t find any. I don’t know if they’re still on TV, but I guess they aren’t. This alone makes this blog post an obsolete waste of time but OH WELL I’VE COME HOME FROM WORK AND WTF ELSE AM I GOING TO DO *fap fap fap*)

Dear Stupid Parents:

The government already moderates your parenting by controlling basically everything you and your doomed child do. You complain about TV because you parent with TV and when the TV does things that make you mad it is especially bad because it is teaching your kids ways to make you mad. BUT WAIT: With the advent of nationalised television networks (this is fucking current affairs shit, right here) the government is not just telling you how to parent your kids, the government is parenting your kids for you.

Once you have stopped using TV as a parenting method you may reflect on what your child might do with all of its free time. Certainly it would have more time for homework OH FUCKING NO – THE GOVERNMENT CONTROLS THE CURRICULUM AND THEREFORE THE SCHOOL AND THEREFORE YOUR CHILD!!! OH FUCK, OH FUCK FUCK!!!

Extend that thought a bit more and then you realise that you (probably) grew up here and the government has controlled your upbringing. And your parents’ upbringing! Your ancestors for generations (bit of hyperbole here, NZ isn’t really that old) have all been products, to some extent, of national governance.

To sum this up: You and your children have been and are being raised by the Queen. You’re all basically princes and princesses! That’s great! Now I can’t remember why I was angry.

kid kings

Written by: Zach.
Tags: .

Complaints about “NOOOO THE GOVERNMENT IS CONTROLLING MY LIFE AND NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME OF IT (MY LIFE)”

  1. Jamesss, on 13th July, 2009 at 4:13 pm Blurted:

    HEY ZACH

    HOW DO I PUT THEM UP IN A PLAYER/PLZ TRUST MY JUDGEMENT, YOU CAN ALWAYS DELETE AFTER DOWNLOADING

  2. Zach, on 13th July, 2009 at 4:30 pm Blurted:

    Read this:
    http://blog.forret.com/2005/01/playing-mp3-with-an-embedded-flash-player/
    Try this:
    http://musicplayer.sourceforge.net/

    You’ll need to ask the site admin if you can host mp3s from the site (they may not want to) and you’ll need to check if you can put that flash player up. What are you using to blog there? It looks like some wordpress thing with no comments or something.

    WHY NO COMMENTS?

  3. Zach, on 13th July, 2009 at 4:34 pm Blurted:

    Or, if you’re using wordpress:
    http://www.1pixelout.net/code/audio-player-wordpress-plugin/

    Should have probably thought about that a bit earlier.

  4. Zach, on 13th July, 2009 at 6:25 pm Blurted:

    To get an RSS feed just for your site, append /feed to your URL:

    http://www.thekitchensink.co.nz/us/category/totems-flare/feed/

    So get some kind of link with that as the href value up NOW

  5. James, on 13th July, 2009 at 11:36 pm Blurted:

    yoyo zach how do i embed images all up in this comment box

  6. Zach, on 14th July, 2009 at 12:10 pm Blurted:

    Just use standard HTML code
    <img src="complete image URI" title="this shows up when you hover over it" alt="this shows up if the image does not" />

    Remember to open and self-close the img tag: /> to close and < to open.
    This will ensure the blog still validates (not that I really care, but hey).

  7. James, on 14th July, 2009 at 2:22 pm Blurted:

    Wooot this better work

    My plan for this weekend. Keen?

  8. James, on 14th July, 2009 at 2:24 pm Blurted:

    Ah shit left the space at the end of the tags..

    Here we go

    If it doesnt work this time I’m probably just gonna give up and neck myself.

  9. James, on 14th July, 2009 at 2:26 pm Blurted:

    gahh nerd rage!

    src=”http://www.neosoft.se/dev/advicedog/advicedog.php?line1=DROP+SOME+ACID&line2=SKIN+A+BABY” title=”Sounds like a party at my cousins house… hes in jail now.” alt=”Zach ruined my life”

    Really gonna neck myself this time

  10. James, on 14th July, 2009 at 2:26 pm Blurted:

    well you can go fuck yourself and your HTML

  11. Zach, on 14th July, 2009 at 2:44 pm Blurted:

    SORRY JAMES I FORGOT THAT I AM AN ADMIN AND HAVE DIFFERENT PRIVILEGES ON MY OWN SITE (whoops)

    Zach ruined my life

    I’ll try to sort this out. Some motherfucker is selling an plugin that will let you do this for 97USD – I bet I can find something different, better and free.

  12. James, on 14th July, 2009 at 3:13 pm Blurted:

    NOW YOU TELL ME

    Oi tell that guy to go fuck himself and make it open source

  13. Zach, on 14th July, 2009 at 9:02 pm Blurted:

    Try it now, BRO.

  14. Zach, on 14th July, 2009 at 9:09 pm Blurted:

    P.S. I used that guy’s plugin – it is up for download here.

  15. James, on 14th July, 2009 at 11:39 pm Blurted:

    Better work now, BRO.

    [img]http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/4149/5672725c23d856ecfd644c3.png[/img]

  16. Zach, on 14th July, 2009 at 11:54 pm Blurted:

    I <3 4chan
    interior heart anatomy

Go on, whine about it.

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