THE FUNNY PART OF THIS BLOG IS THAT I REALISED THAT I CONSIDER “OUTSIDE” TO BE “OUTSIDE MY ROOM.”
Today I played the shittiest flash game in the world for more than an hour which I only realised when the game printed this little “Achievement Unlocked!” thing which read
Played for 60 minutes!
This depressed me so profoundly that I actually had to get up and leave the Internet for a while.
When you’re depressed it’s always good to read the paper for a while because you can congratulate yourself on not being the editor of the Press – I’d prefer to clean up toddler vomit at McDonald’s before I’d let people know I was the one responsible for putting a photo of clouds on the front page of the paper – when on the world page I found what is probably the most important single piece of news this year:
China has decided to ban the use of electro-shock therapy on teenagers who are addicted to the internet.
WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE TELL US THAT CHINA WERE ELECTROCUTING KIDS FOR CHECKING TOMORROW’S WEATHER?
And anyway – I don’t know shit about EST (this is my own acronym) and I can’t be bothered doing any research right now) so this probably isn’t true – electroshock therapy is kind of bullshit. The idea of “shocking the bad out of you” is pretty similar to the medieval idea of blood-letting to cure disease or trepanning to LET THE DEMONS OUT. It would probably work a bit better if they did it as conditioning where they electrocuted you when you typed the ’4′ in ’4chan’ or if you tried to trick Google into letting you browse /b/.
Maybe I should get some EST (stealing your acronym) and I can be as cool as that grandma in Requiem for a Dream… or maybe I could take an assload of heroin and have to get my arm amputated. Both are viable options at this point.
Just make sure you can give it an ending as happy as the one in Requiem for a Dream.
Everything turned out fine for the characters in that movie… or is that the movie I fell asleep in and never saw the end… HMMM well everything seemed to be going fine up to the point where she blew that black guy for heroin!
[img]http://roeiboot.com/funny/Pics/dragon_penis.jpeg[/img]