… like to do weird things to your bodies? Like hold a stick up in the air and focus on the top of it while you spin around and around and around and around and around and around and around then you try to run towards someone in a straight line and fall over?

Or do you stand in the doorway and try to assume the Justice position for a minute or so and then move out of the doorway to feel the might of the bangers crucifix?

Perhaps you hold your breath for ages and then get someone to push against your chest? Then they can take advantage of you while you are passed out. I cannot think of any other reason why anyone would play this game. This is date-rape but without roofies.

Or maybe you make yourself a cup of tea and go to take a biiiiiiig sip but instead you blow on the surface of the tea and the steam clouds up your eyes. Is this what having glasses is like? Can doing this allow you to experience alternative realities? Is this the new time travel? Actually, this is more like discovering parallel universities. I mean universes. In this life you are 12% geekier with 25% more chance of being ‘quirky’. You could get heavy black frames and be a real hipster kid, too.

In this life there are still dinosaurs as well and you get harried by velociraptors on the way to school through the jungle. I don’t think Jurassic park painted a very realistic portrait of dinosaurs and I also think dinosaurs get a bad deal from the media. This is probably the reason that dinosaurs aren’t big in fashion.

I am going to buy this t-shirt and start dating high-level designers.

Or do you get together with your BFFs and lift an entire person only using two fingers each? “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board. Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board.” Is this Wiccan? Is this Magick? I always thought this game was pretty stupid. I also feel that this game excludes people who don’t have many friends. This game is the reason that bulling is such a problem in our primary schools. I think if more kids listened to NWA they would learn how to talk smack better and bullies would be less of a problem. Kids need more positive role models in their lives. Having to look up to hulking idiots who make a living from groping each other in the mud is not going to produce a confident and successful generation.

Sorry, got a bit side-tracked. Remember the Batman board games? The one that I had had “Side-tracked!!!” squares with Catwoman on them. I never understood why having to fight Catwoman would be a sidetrack. Why didn’t they just write “Fighting Catwoman!!!!”? Being a kid was pretty confusing.

Do you remember when the major Hollywood blockbuster of Catwoman with Halle Berry came out? For some reason everyone was really, really excited about that movie because Halle Berry is “soooo hott.” I never thought so because the first movie I saw with Halle Berry in it was Monster’s Ball:

As part of an on-going effort to keep sleep500 worksafe, I don’t really want to post much more than this. You know where google is.

Written by: Zach.
Tags: do you kids, fashion.