In the retarded United States of America there is a day for white hatred of brown people. This is the day that “white man” landed on virgin soil on the East Coast and started burning and raping and discriminating against everyone who was already in ‘merka.

This is the most bullshit holiday ever. Only four out of fifty states recognise it, so it is basically just a government holiday for retarded institutions like the US consulate of embassy or whatever it is in Auckland that grants little kids visas.

It works like this:
Monday, the 13th of October for New Zealand is Columbus day. In America it is Sunday the 12th.
Fly up to Auckland on Monday to get fucking visas and they are fucking closed because it is “Colombus day” in America BUT WAIT, IT ISN’T COLOMBUS DAY IN AMERICA! IT IS SUNDAY IN AMERICA AND NOTHING IS HAPPENING IN AMERICA AT ALL.

NOTHING

Some fun ways to lose a lot of money:
1) Try to go to the USA.
2) Try to get visas
3) Book flights for your consulate appointment
4) Forget to book your appointment
5) Columbus day
6) Rage
7) Book more flights
8) There are no spaces today
9) Cancel flights
10) Book different flights
11) Card declines
12) Walk down Queen St holding up traffic like you’re your own Critical Mass
13) Maybe you could bust some windows of cars anyway
14) Get arrested
14a) Get deported to Christchurch
15) Drink a bottle of pills

Written by: Zach.
Tags: drama, fuck columbus day.