DON’T THROW IT ALL AWAY. FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE STEPS FOR SEXY SUCCESS.
Sup y’all I went to the mall yesterday. It was fucking horrible. Anyway, my favourite things about malls are hot sluttz and school-girls. So I was pretty keen to get down to the mall and get a boner in my tight jeans whilst staring at this chick’s shiny as metallic gold tight things in American Apparel:
But when I got down to the mall there was a severe lack of sluttz and/or school-girls. It was like someone had sent out a memo or some shit or maybe all of the school-kids got held in from school because “Rave Girl” was having a sale and they didn’t want a riot to happen or something.
What I did see, however, was a large amount of these fucking things:
I know it is nearly winter here, and the news says that winter is setting in early due to some “storm” in the North-East but why do chicks have to do this?
FACTS ABOUT UGG-BOOTS
Wearing Uggz says the following about you:
1) You think being lazy means you look like a relaxed, carefree person.
2) You don’t shave your legs.
3) You don’t clean your vagina.
4) You hate (giving or receiving) oral sex.
5) You are an expendable part of society.
6) You support racial hatred.
Wearing Ugg-boots with jeans is fucking horrendous. If you want to wear jeans and stay warm, wear some bitching sneakers like these:
This will ensure you don’t look like a fucking troll. But please, all self-respecting Japanese women know that the ideal winter garb is leg-warmers and high-heels. Anything other than this is a massive underachievement and will not get you laid. Trust me on this one.
You can also do them with leggings if you need to:
Nice use of alliteration in the title Zach. Really caught my attention right from the start. Good work!
POST MORE AM APP PORN
OMG I HAVE LEG WARMERS AM I COOL NOW?!!?!?
were you the child in this post Zach?
http://www.photobasement.co...
LULZ!!!
Faaaaaaaaark them shoes is mean bro. My cuz had some that he stole of some fuckin gay cunt at some party then he wore them to mufti dayz and shit then all the fuckin teachers were like use stole them cos he is brown and shit and he waz all like naaaaaaaaaaah and had to give them back. I wuld hav been all like you stole mah fuckin cultre and beach fuck use I get da shoez
AHAHAAH.
OMG…my friend Megan Eloise and I(Anna Lucia) just found out that you found the LETTER WE WROTE TO YOU that she posted on her blog! Yes, they are our real names in all actual fact!
how is the usa!?
the usa is great thanks weve been chilling out in the sun and and making friends with the natives
how are you? thanks for coming to sleep500, enjoy your stay
my friend is a native american!
I will very much enjoy my stay, thank you! Enjoy world touring!
Get your impostor on, "Zach."
HRO INFLUENCED BLOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG YALLLLLLLLL!!!! Sleep500 is pretty good for learning ways to enhance my personal brand.
sleep500 is a lifestyle blog. HRO isn’t.
HRO is shit.