SLEEP500 IS NOT DEAD! I AM IN GERMANY DRIVING AROUND THE AUTOBAHN AND FOR SOME REASON THERE ISN’T ONE GIANT ROUTER THAT GIVES ME WIRELESS ACCESS EVERYWHERE.
So like, today Josh reminded me of one of the biggest scams circa P.E. and shitty tourist trips like this one that I remember going on in a canoe or something. This is sleep500 feat. Josh Burgess.
Glow-worms are fucking lame and boring. I would rather get stung by bees than see glow-worms. Glow-worms are boring as fuck because:
1) P.E. teachers think they are cool.
2) P.E. teachers go home and think, “Well, I thought I booked the gym for Thursday, but apparently Mrs. Jones’ class has it booked and it is probably going to rain on Thursday so I can’t use the field. And I know that Tyson Namu’tu is going to play up if he has to do another cross-word about the Latin names of the bones in the body. He hates ‘phalanges’ for some reason. Actually, I don’t give a fuck what happens on Thursday because I am going to be lying in a bath-tub of blood for five hours.”
3) Whenever you are going to some shitty cave to see glow-worms who ever is chaperoning your hot date tells you to be really quiet or the glow-worms will stop glowing. This is bullshit. Glow-worms don’t give a fuck about noise and shit. I doubt they can even hear. I don’t see normal worms freaking the fuck out when it is cricket day and all the ‘dudes’ are out on the field with their stereos pumping The Edge/91ZM and this new band they heard of called “Justice” who are a Christian band but they are still cool. How are glow-worms going to turn their skin off? They aren’t – shut the fuck up.
4) Ever wonder why P.E. teachers wear shorts all the time? Because they can’t make rational decisions. Anyone who thinks it is a “profession” to go to work in shorts needs to spend some serious time in a basement with a drill and someone who spends hours and hours a day watching mid-budget soap operas.
5) Ironically, P.E. teachers are the fat kids of the teaching world. They get made fun of for being too fit for school and they think they are big news because they went to Sydney for their O.E. and the time they met Jerry Collins. They relate to the kiddies because of that time they smoked marijuana cigarettes in high school.
"Today’s class, we are going to make you feel even more insecure about your bodies, as we judge you while you preform arbitury tasks" – Clone High gym teacher.
i wish pe teachers would start to wear long trousers. there’s only so much of mr leota’s calf muscles that i can take.
fuck
that
shit