Thats right, infected with MACUSER-ITIS
It’s kinda like chlamydia except at parties people don’t have to wait until they take off your pants/wake up the next day to tell that you have it, you just have to open your mouth.

Before we get into the symptoms, lets make one thing clear: THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT DOUCHES WHO OWN AND USE MACS.
Although they exist, these people are relatively rare. They are also rarely heard of, because they know that they can use a mac quite happily without having to scream to anyone in earshot about how much better it is than every other computer ever. Although within some of these people lies a dormant strain of the macuser disease, which we will get onto later.

Some of the common symptoms of macuser-itis are as follows:

On the topic of computing, and infected person will often be unable to control outbursts such as “BUT HAVN’T YOU SEEN THE MAC ADS!? THEY’RE SO CUTTING EDGE BUT SO CHEEKY AND SIMPLE THAT EVEN I CAN UNDERSTAND THEM IN IE5″

This is a mac ad. Macuseritis will make people take from this: “LOL i dnt wanna be old, and i dnt wana wear a suit… i wana be populr! i beta get a mac!!”
A normal person who is not infected will see that:
The dude in the suit is fucking waving, and I’m betting you didn’t even wave at him. How friendly!!! The other guy is looking at you riiiiiight now thinking about how much he’s not gonna wave, because he’s “higher up in the social food chain” than you. PS the dude in the suit: had fucking HEEAAAPPPSS of fun in his youth, but balanced it out with a good education and now gets a heap of ca$h money$$$ for chilling with his homies and driving round the Lambo picking up high class hookers. The other dude is currently failing a BCOM in marketing (CHANGINGTEHWORLD) and spends too much time trying to set trends on the strip and bang whory girls with the letter Z in their name. Oh and he wears slipon vans.

A lot of the other symptoms that go with this condition are mostly related to spouting a load of crap to other people about how macs are the best computers and they run everything so much better than everything else. Although this is fucking retarded, it is nice for the rest of us as it lets us know who to avoid. Did you know that there are people out there who actually believe that if you buy a desktop that isn’t mac, you HAVE to run winnydows vista? Linux is for palm pilots.
As for the “MACX DONT GET NNE VIRUSES CUZ HACKERS LIKEM SO MUCH THEY DONT MAKE VIRUSES FOR THEM”: it’s easy enough to keep away viruses, you just have to not be semi retarded.
Also: HAHAHA YOU HAVE NO RIGHT CLICK FAGS, OH AND THE NEW MACBOOK PROS DON’T EVEN HAVE REGULAR FIREWARE SHOT STEEEEEVE.

Basically if you have a mac you should get rid of it, as the risk of contracting this illness is too high to be worth it. If you can tell me why macs are better than other computers and why osx or leopard or watevs is a superior os, leave a comment saying why and I will gladly prove you wrong and call you an idiot.

Written by: Goss.
Tags: OS, rage, technology.