BUT REALLY, IT WOULDN’T WORK AT ALL BECAUSE THE COMPUTER WOULD BE TRYING TO PROCESS THE ‘PAIN’ AND THAT WOULD DISTRACT IT FROM PLAYING YOUR SMUTTY FLASH PORN IN A NICE, SMOOTH FASHION.

For some time, now I’ve alternately wanted and not wanted to get some kind of device for a computer that could register pain or experience fear of pain so I’d be able to threaten my computer when it wasn’t responding very well. Now that I write this down it seems really horrible. But anyway – [...]

DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE A BRAIN OR A LIFE

Staring over the twin-peaks of the mount(s), Captain Melvin viewed the sands. As part of his duties he was expected to stay here for three hours out of every twenty-hour shift, but there were ways around that. Jerking off with his eyes closed was probably his favourite method for killing time. Throwing caution to the [...]