Spit.

To achieve total enlightenment/nirvana; passes time.

Empathy; communication; literacy.

P.S. I hate hippies.

It’s boring; the stories generally go on for way too long; it’s better on the Internet; you always feel like interrupting with, “This’d be better if you could show me.”

They don’t actually give a fuck about sick people; they only fund studies to support and publicize their products; they misrepresent findings/statistics from said studies; they pay doctors to prescribe their drugs; they promote specialised solutions over general ones (their drug instead of a balanced diet, regular exercise and sleep).

Working motivates you to pursue some that doesn’t feel like work but earns money; not having to deal with the Department of Work & Income; not doing anything demotivates you and makes you boring, bored and depresses; the dole doesn’t pay shit; you think you can fucking them but they can fully fuck you harder; you think you’ll have more time to pursue your ‘art’ but what you really pursue is Internet porn.

Gameplay; multiplayer; missions; aliens; the Carrington Institute; Dark sims; disarming NPCs.

Although people in general are terrible, individuals tend to be fairly interesting; no one likes an egotist/megalomaniac; only listening to yourself gives you an infated opinion of yourself and other people can help you put this in perspective; getting punched in the face isn’t fun or cool; if you listen to people you’re more likely to get laid. True story.; other people may have solutions to your problems; if you don’t listen to anyone no one will listen to you / being lonely sucks; sometimes other people are way smarter than you are.

Fantasizing about sex when you’re at work/travelling/pretending to be reading/talking to someone; it makes reading books like discovering new worlds; you empathise with people to a larger degree; it helps with foresight; you can test out your crazy theories on yourself; you can drop someone into a mincer and spray them all over their greedy parents and not get in trouble; you’re better at lying; you can turn a funny tree into a spaceship and fight aliens for hours; you can create alternate lives for people and make them jealous of themselves.

You can’t block advertising live; you have no control over the timetable; for any real choice you have to pay more; T.V. starts shitty trends like the one where cougars are sexy; is the drug of the (inter)nation; day time T.V.; Zumba; The Simpsons; T.V. personalities like that British guy from C4; the porn isn’t any good.

Context. More context.

I like small boobs; it is a measure to censor imagination; it will encourage more breast ‘enhancement’ surgery; I bet it’s because old dudes fucking love big, floppy tits and who writes the rules? Old dudes, that’s who.; small dicks aren’t banned from porno; because next they’ll ban ‘school’ uniforms; because small tits will become more fringe/fetish porn and therefore probably hairier and full of stuff I don’t care about (like footjobs); it will make porn even more sexist; Sasha Grey will get pissed off; girls in porn will look even more similar; big, floppy tits are gross and belong in the U.K. / aren’t nicer than small, pert tits (no joke).

To always have someone to hang out with; other people experience the world differently and friends will tell you about it; to hate your boyfriend; to hate your girlfriend; pack mentality; to geek out with; as a channel for detailed vicarious experience; so you can select their boy/girlfriends; to share meals with; to live with; you always need to borrow something; if it all goes wrong, you can probably fuck them.

You can trick the hell out of them; to have miniature versions of you running around; as a practical joke; as an experiment; to make the world a better place through education; dogma practise; to put those fucking reality parenting shows to test; to prove to your friends you can parent better than they can; to prove to yourself you can parent; so you can fly with them internationally; sympathy; to lend to your friends as a dating aid; cute pictures for the Internet.

For the hooks; for the immaturity; to have something to fondly regret; to laugh at how old they are; to learn on guitar; because they’ll never ‘find god’; to play to your kids; to remind you about talent over technique; parties; to experience a slice of a life you’ll never live; to remind you that there are worse tattoos you could have chosen; for the crappy jokes; so you can say, “Well, I guess this is growing up.”; because all of their other bands suck; for that live album.

Never say anything then commit suicide when they leave; crop duster acrobatic plane; money; mow their lawns every week for no pay; sit next to them at a restaurant; include them with your friends; talk about other people with them; get mad at them for no reason but still put up with them; “I love you.”; take them to meet your family and have fun; have mutual silences with them; enjoy your own things with them; eat each other’s food; miss them and tell them about it.

So you can admit to rape; your friends think you’re cool; ‘losing your innocence’; crappy jokes; to get back at your ex-boyfriend; to get back at your ex-girlfriend; better than cigarettes; to find out if you want to be a womanizer; to discover that sexuality is sacred; to get into trouble; to have something other than lollies to spend your money on; as a joke; to prove a point; to make new friends; because you heard it was cool.

Motivational speakers; prospect of career as a motivaltional speaker; earning more money than other people your age; help parents save money; more time on Internet; no teachers; no ‘peers’/class’mates’; pursue your career earlier; get head start on travel; existential dread; sleep on your own bed; fame; pursuit of fame; parties; sleeping in; staying up late; pretending you’re an adult when you’re still a kid; true love.

Leaving the house sucks; leaving the house is dangerous; the Internet; NetHack; alcohol is expensive; alcohol isn’t that much fun; the music will probably suck; people; taxis; your girlfriend; your boyfriend; music at home; prospect of hangover; disease(s); seeing people you used to know; bar food; better things to spend your money on; worse things to spend your money on.

Flat white, please; one large flat white; one small flat white; a flattie, thanks; the regular, please; a small flattie, mate; a big flattie, please; a white coffee; small white; large white; what he had; what Stuart normally gets; your smallest cup with not-quite-latté milk; just whatever; that special New Zealand coffee; *grunt*; like a piccolo latté but bigger; default; what you made me last time.