10 Reasons Why Television Sucks: You can’t block advertising live; you have no control over the timetable; for any real choice you have to pay more; T.V. starts shitty trends like the one where cougars are sexy; is the drug of the (inter)nation; day time T.V.; Zumba; The Simpsons; T.V. personalities like that British guy [...]
11 Reasons Why Banning Small Breasts From Porno Is A Bad Idea: Context. More context. I like small boobs; it is a measure to censor imagination; it will encourage more breast ‘enhancement’ surgery; I bet it’s because old dudes fucking love big, floppy tits and who writes the rules? Old dudes, that’s who.; small dicks [...]
12 Reasons To Make Friends: To always have someone to hang out with; other people experience the world differently and friends will tell you about it; to hate your boyfriend; to hate your girlfriend; pack mentality; to geek out with; as a channel for detailed vicarious experience; so you can select their boy/girlfriends; to share [...]
13 Reasons To Have Kids: You can trick the hell out of them; to have miniature versions of you running around; as a practical joke; as an experiment; to make the world a better place through education; dogma practise; to put those fucking reality parenting shows to test; to prove to your friends you can [...]
14 Reasons To Like/Have Liked Blink 182: For the hooks; for the immaturity; to have something to fondly regret; to laugh at how old they are; to learn on guitar; because they’ll never ‘find god’; to play to your kids; to remind you about talent over technique; parties; to experience a slice of a life [...]
15 Ways To Say, “I Love You.”: Never say anything then commit suicide when they leave; crop duster acrobatic plane; money; mow their lawns every week for no pay; sit next to them at a restaurant; include them with your friends; talk about other people with them; get mad at them for no reason but [...]
16 Reason To Have Sex Before You’re Legal: So you can admit to rape; your friends think you’re cool; ‘losing your innocence’; crappy jokes; to get back at your ex-boyfriend; to get back at your ex-girlfriend; better than cigarettes; to find out if you want to be a womanizer; to discover that sexuality is sacred; [...]
17 Reasons To Leave School: Motivational speakers; prospect of career as a motivaltional speaker; earning more money than other people your age; help parents save money; more time on Internet; no teachers; no ‘peers’/class’mates’; pursue your career earlier; get head start on travel; existential dread; sleep on your own bed; fame; pursuit of fame; parties; [...]
18 Reasons Not To Go To Bars: Leaving the house sucks; leaving the house is dangerous; the Internet; NetHack; alcohol is expensive; alcohol isn’t that much fun; the music will probably suck; people; taxis; your girlfriend; your boyfriend; music at home; prospect of hangover; disease(s); seeing people you used to know; bar food; better things [...]
19 Ways To Order A Flat White: Flat white, please; one large flat white; one small flat white; a flattie, thanks; the regular, please; a small flattie, mate; a big flattie, please; a white coffee; small white; large white; what he had; what Stuart normally gets; your smallest cup with not-quite-latté milk; just whatever; that [...]