However, with all of this confusion over what was geek and what was hot and what was a hot geek and what was Sasha Grey doing on such a moralistic and naive blog that doesn’t even know what ‘pornography’ is (except one of the best albums ever, <3 u Robert Smith), THE ANSWER WAS STARING US IN THE FACE THE WHOLE TIME.

This is what my intern said:

“The thing about geek chic is that the people who do it are hardly ever geeks. I don’t know. Real geeks wear shirts with dragons on them. Geek chic is just a label made up by the fashion industry that has nothing to do with reality. Plus geek chic now is kind of hipster fashion.”

She said that this was a pretty good example of a “geek.”

She said that although this is what this dude wears in Doctor Who this is a pretty good example because this is basically what he wears in real life. All I know is that I would never give this guy a blow-job. Not even if he did that thing that you see in gay porn all of the time where they lie back and grab their dick really close to their balls and kind of point it to you. Not even if he played my favourite song. Not even if he paid me $20USD (that is like $400NZD!!!!). Not even if he spat on me. Not even if he got me drunk and bought me BK. Not even if he just accepted my friend request on fckbk without fucking emailing me to ask who I am. Not even if he lifted my ban from requesting friends:

sleep500: Would you fuck a guy just for nailing geek chic? Personally, I wouldn’t fuck a poser. I’d need to know that they knew what AoE spells were.
intern: Nah, I’m not forward enough to run up and fuck some ‘geek chic’ guy. I would just make real life :3 faces at him and then cry about it later while listening to twee music. You wish you were this cool.
sleep500: Whatever, bitch you just love hipsters too much.
intern: Fuck you, cunt you are a fucking hipster – you love v-necks and drop crotch pants. I’ll draw a picture of the day I saw you at [insert hipster cafe].
sleep500: You can’t draw.
***
intern: Despite having a laptop with a touch pad I still can’t draw for shit in MS Paint.

sleep500: Far outies.

Geeks are fucking cool.
Sometimes girls that probably aren’t geeks/smart/running the world can be cool too. Especially when they dress kinda like geeks,which makes them look smart and authentic enough to run the world. More girls should dress like this chick, she really shows us how to look like a prude, but you know she tells her bf to aim it into her glasses every now and then.

This chick looks like a girl who works at some clothing store that we went to one day. She was hot. Anyway – I like her chain, her glasses and her fringe. I would stand up if this chick walked into a room.

Guys should get their Seth Cohen on, but not quite so emo-esque tragic styles.
Actually, just like Dan from Gossip Girl. It’ll be like Gossip Girl IRL, but instead of fucking each other in the back of limos it’ll be in the toilet cubicles at a bar.

I used the Google and discovered that the mainstream media has very little idea of what constitutes a hot geek. I think they kind of get “hot,” and I think they have some understanding of the concept of “geek,” but when you combine the two terms you don’t get shit.

Proof:

HOT:

Yeah, I guess this is pretty hot. I edited this image because it wasn’t work-safe. I hate it when Google filters my search results but occasionally it can be problematic (read: fun).

GEEK:

This has nothing to do with geeks at all. Everyone who owns a cellphone can read this. Actually, anyone with a basic grasp of the Latin alphabet can replace numbers with letters in their heads. This shirt would be better if it were all written in Linear B. You thought that I was going to say Binary. No. Binary is what computers use – not geeks. Geeks are more alternative than people who organise their social circles around a few buzz bands. Linear B is the altest language ever. Scene kids, listen up.

LINEAR B:

GET ON IT.

HOT GEEK:

This is not a geek girl at all. Geeks don’t actually use that cellotape/masking tape for the glasses – they get new glasses. Geeks own the server that sleep500 is on, and they make heaps of fucking money off Goss and me – they just ring up their optometrist and go, “Hi, Mike. Yes I need another pair. Have the chauffeur knock twice and leave them on the doorstep. No, I do not want to accompany you to Pharrell’s bachelor pad. He is going to pick me up after his gig. Yes, I am a big deal. Goodbye.”

I just looked at the picture again and that girl hasn’t done a very impressive job of dressing herself. Geeks stay away from gimmicks like cleavage.

For some reason there is a large misconception that girls wearing t-shirts like these are geeks. This is incorrect. These girls are consumers of geeks. If you start going out with a child molesterer, it does not make you a child molesterer (well, maybe it does by association if the molestering was happening whilst you were there. I don’t know much about the laws surrounding pedophilia). Long story short: This chick is not a geek.

HOT GEEK CHICK:

This is not a “hot geek chick.” This is Sasha Grey and she is a porn actress. Just because you put glasses on does not mean you are a geek. Also – why would this “geek” be in a classroom? Evidently she is too old for school and Sasha Grey is too much of a brat to be cast as a school teacher. The people who constructed this “How To” are guilty of spreading misinformation. Shame on them.

HOT GEEK GUY:

The media definitely have this one wrong. You can’t just take some guy who knows where the gym is, give him a personal trainer and some black-rimmed prescription glasses (prescription optional) and assume that he is a geek. It doesn’t work like that. Being a geek is a lifestyle choice just like being a ‘streamer or a pretentious fuckface (note: there are more choices than the three I just referenced. Don’t rage against me – rage against the machine). Geeks don’t give a fuck about bicep curls or bench presses or treadmills or the lamer gym with the lamer people and the lamer admission/subscription charges. A geek only exercises out of necessity. For instance, rather than biking (x) distance just for the feeling of burning in one’s legs a geek would bike to work or school or something. In fact, I have heard of people who aren’t geeks doing this. Fucking crazy, man.

Geeks don’t give a fuck about:
1) Television.
2) Automobiles.
3) Social Networking.
4) Making A Good Impression.
5) Meeting New/Exciting/Important People.
6) Your New Clothing Item.
7) Etc

Geeks do give a fuck about:
1) World of Warcraft.
2) Linear B
3) When You Go To A Website And The Entire Thing Is Flash, Fuck That Shit Is Lame.
4) Obscure Anime Forums.
5) Japan.
6) ???
7) Profit.

Yeah, this was meant to be a definitive post but this is a long way from being definitive. I guess life is just like that. This is part one of on-going research. Feel free to contribute. Don’t bother emailing me – I don’t really care about that. Use the comment function. Hmm, I just realised that I have embedded an image that is probably from a pornsite. We could be in for some spam like that GTA post. Oh, well.

I think this is a Fashion post.