ON TOP OF THIS SHIT I FUCKING DROVE HOME WITHOUT MY WALLET THEN HAD TO GO BACK TO WORK TO GET MY WALLET SO I COULD DRIVE HOME AGAIN TO PAY SOME MECHANIC AND BUY FIVE WEEKS OF REGISTRATION. FUCK YOU, LTSA.

About three minutes ago I was consumed with rage because I was looking in the bag I packed once at 2.30am and again at 12.10pm and I could only find one half of the pair of gloves that I prefer to compute in (the fingerless kind): “Fuck this. I fucking guess I’ll have to wear [...]

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ACTUALLY I DIDN’T EVEN GET UP TO THE METAPHOR STAGE. I JUST LOOKED AT THE THREE SENTENCES I’D WRITTEN AND REACHED FOR THE “dG” KEY COMBINATION.

I just ate steak and chips and I was going to write a big, manly blog to go with my meal but I ran out of metaphors for sexual repression so I decided to write one long sentence instead of three or four long paragraphs and throw an image from the internet in there for [...]

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AS I WAS CUTTING I WAS THINKING: “OH, MAN THIS IS SO STUPID. LOOK AT THE HORROR I HAVE CREATED.”

This morning I opened a pack of cornflakes with a serrated knife. It was one of those plastic packs of cornflakes that are pretty cheap to buy that have fairly nice cornflakes in them. I basically destroyed the top of the packet due to how poorly suited to the job the knife was. As a [...]

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