SLEEP500 » nethack

“PRESS” IS SHORT FOR “OPPRESSION.” “O” IS SHORT FOR “OH, SHUT UP.”

Zach — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 10:43:01 +0000

THE GIVEAWAY IS “WASTING.” YEAH SO I MIGHT POST A REAL BLOG TODAY BUT MAYBE I’LL JUST LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL NEW HEADER FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS INSTEAD. YEAH.

Zach — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 05:39:07 +0000

THIS MARRIEDTOTHESEA.COM COMIC IS ABOUT NETHACK:

WHEN I FINALLY WAS SERVED EVERYONE STARTED YELLING AT THE DUDE WHO SERVED ME AND I HAD TO TELL THEM ALL TO SHUT UP AND JAMES ‘SHUSHED’ SOME 6′4″ DUDE IT WAS HIL

Zach — Tue, 05 May 2009 08:51:58 +0000

Yo so I was going to write some funny stuff about what I did last weekend but then I realised I wasn’t the Crackhouse 5 blog (obviously – there aren’t five of me) but I still want to tell you something.

Fact of the Year

At 4am Burger King resets all of the tills no matter how many hungry, drunk people are in the store.

That is all.

Wait:

OH MAN IT WAS SOOOO EXCITING! WHEN THAT TELEPORT TRAP HAPPENED I WAS LIKE, “OHFUCKNO” AND THEN A PACK OF GREY ELVES RAPED MY ASS ON MY WAY BACK DOWN. GRRRRRRRRR

Zach — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 12:49:00 +0000

Do I even need to say anything?

(I got to level 21! Yay! P.S. fuck you, teleport trap.)

YASD BECAUSE I FUCKING DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO EAT THAT PIECE OF SHIT. I WAS SO FUCKING MAD FOR ABOUT SIX MINUTES AND THEN I WAS ASLEEP.

Zach — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 01:23:39 +0000

Friday night, eh? Partytimes?

What kept you awake until 3am?

I WAS FUCKING MAD ABOUT THE GNOME LORD THING BECAUSE SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT IT ALONE. INSTEAD I DECIDED TO EAT IT TO KEEP MY STRENGTH UP. YASD 4 LIFE.

Zach — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 08:40:15 +0000

Yo! I just started playing NETHACK, which is probably the hardest actual game that I’ve ever played in my life. Because I am too legit to quit, I play this shit without a GUI (GUIs are for pussies who like “3D” and “physics engines” and “bloom” and “shiny”)

I couldn’t be bothered making a nice screenshot of my NETHACK, so here are some characters embedded in “pre” tags that hopefully display properly, I have drama with pre tags on this server:

 You see here a silver ring.
                                           ------------
                                         ##.....!.....|
                                           |...........#          ------
                                          #...........|           |.*..|
                      ---------------   ###------------           |...(|
                      |..%...........|##########               ###-@...|
                      |...%...........###    #                 ## |....|
                      +.......< ......|       ###              ### |....|
                      ---------------          #              #   ------
                                               ###          ###
                                                 #          #
                                              ---.-----   ###
                                              |{......|   #
                                              |........####
                                              |.......|
                                              |.......|
                                              ---------
 Zach the Ronin St:11 Dx:13 Co:12 In:11 Wi:18 Ch:11  Lawful
 Dlvl:3  $:120 HP:39(41) Pw:36(36) AC:6  Exp:5 T:1073

EDIT: Fuck.

I keep fucking dying because NETHACK is brutal. Check it out:

You made the top ten list!

No Points Name Hp [max]
1 1350 zach-Val-Dwa-Fem-Law was poisoned in The Gnomish
Mines on level 5. Poisoned by a rotted gnome lord
corpse. 51 [51]
2 921 zach-Kni-Hum-Mal-Law died in The Dungeons of Doom on
level 5. Killed by a bugbear. – [43]
3 557 zach-Rog-Hum-Fem-Cha died in The Dungeons of Doom on
level 3. Killed by a kitten. – [23]

To give you a little perspective on just how brutal NETHACK is, here is a little excerpt from the man page (um, man pages are kind of “built-in-help” on UNIX-based systems):

To win the game (as opposed to merely playing to beat other people�s high scores) you must locate the Amulet of Yendor which is somewhere below the 20th level of the dungeon and get it out. Nobody has achieved this yet; anybody who does will probably go down in history as a hero among heros.

So, who is up for some serious 1987 gaming? I know I am.
P.S. Sorry if I don’t blog for a couple of days, I have some fucking kobold zombies to ruin.