18 Reasons Not To Go To Bars: Leaving the house sucks; leaving the house is dangerous; the Internet; NetHack; alcohol is expensive; alcohol isn’t that much fun; the music will probably suck; people; taxis; your girlfriend; your boyfriend; music at home; prospect of hangover; disease(s); seeing people you used to know; bar food; better things [...]
Today I felt tired from partying, but a lot cleaner in terms of spirit, or whatever. I realised that I hadn’t updated my fake twitter all day which led me to understand that twitter makes a person feel like the shittest part of a homeless person’s shit on the bottom of a racist’s shoe on [...]
Phew, just got back from the Linwood Lyfe Block Party. I’m so tired I might just post a photo of a fucking banging crowd (of eight year olds) and then pass out. Well, Google didn’t have much to say about “banging crowds of eight-year-olds” so I’ll utilise some Crackhouse magic and give you a series [...]
What? You want to read blogs? On FRIDAY NIGHT? You should be out partying like these douche bags! Search “out partying” on Google images. It’s all gossip magazines and shit fuck that. Actually, I’ve already searched it for you. (Click the link, dummy – I know I should change our link colour). EDIT: so apparently [...]
NOTICE TO ALL FESTIVAL GOERS: NO VOMITING ON YOURSELF WHILE WEARING A HALLOWEEN MASK AND THEN TRYING TO JUST SHRUG IT OFF AND KEEP DANCING. YOU ARE ATLAS. IT IS YOUR JOB TO HOLD UP THE SKY.
I drank sooooooo much last night, I think I’m still waaaaasted!!!! I went to these corny student bars and, lyke, grinded on these geeky guys and then I, lyke, danced on this pole, and then I, lyke, started crying because I saw my boyfriend pashing my ex-BFF on the dance-floor! AND THEN TODAY SHE COMMENT [...]
GOD DAYUMIT I hate how kids these days get all hyped up on fads like “omgz theese new party pills have ZERO BZP which makes them pretty much like vitamin pills, except WAYYYYY MORE BUZZZYY!!!!” Seriously, if you want to be cool do some real drugs. Then you will end up closing your eyes and [...]