• Dirty, whitetrash skinheads:
  Methamphetamines
• Smelly, lazy Maori/FOBs:
  Weed
• Really intelligent, but possessing no grace whatsoever, ever-encroaching tide of Asians:
  Guns

Fuelled by a P, the whites and the browns fight to the death out on the streets with guns they buy off the Asians. After a week or so when they run out of supplies (can’t cook P while you’re on P, go figure) they smoke the pot from the forest and national park land owned by the Ngai Tahu. The instability is introduced by more race-hate. When the whites/brown get bored they go cruising for some sweet head units and automobile-mounted DVD players. They get these from the Asians’ cars. This pisses off the Asians and they raise prices:

“Ok, my car got ripped off last weekend so today I only have .22 and Glock, infrated 200%.”
“Aw, bro! Stink, bro!”
“Well, if you want shoot cracker dees weekend you got pay for it because I’m going to have drive my udder RX-7. Wan without DVD prayer. I trust you understand why I have to laise plices.”
“Nah, bro. I jus’ need a .9, cuz. Have a toke of this, bro.”
“Weed is for rosers.”
“FUCK YOU, GOOK – I’LL JUST MAKE A SHIV OUT OF SOME OLD FURNITURE OR SOMETHING.”
“By arr means. Just don’t come around here or I’ll bro your razy ass back to Samoa.”
“FUCK YOU, SLIT-EYED, RACIST, PIECE-OF-SHIT NIP!”

What is the moral of this post?

• A) Racism makes the world go ’round?
• B) Zach is racist.
• C) I ate a Chupa-Chup for the first time in a while from this bag of them I bought for really cheap but it was kind of too sweet and now I feel a bit sick and my mouth feels gross.
• D) Being racist makes you a piece of shit.
• E) Where the white women at?

For some reason when I google “annoying french guy” I get a bunch of mostly unrelated shit and a skeleton having sex with some babe down the bottom, there. HELLO GOOGLE PLZ PUT THIS UP THE TOP, THANX.

Apart from Frosty the Snowman, all of the flight attendants were super-cute and pretty helpful and even joked to us when we took thirty minutes to get off the plane.

When we were in Australia I saw a flight attendant say to his colleagues, “Don’t worry – I’ll translate.” as he walked over to a Chinese man wearing all-white Air Maxes who was having problems with his baggage. He then put on his version of a Chinese accent and spat broken English at the Chinese guy.

Nothing else interesting has happened – Google haven’t indexed any sweeter images so I don’t have anything to post ):

Here is a video that Goss sent to me that I sent to a bunch of people because I thought it was hilarious. I guess this is a blog by Goss via me. I am aware that posting youtube videos as blog posts is bad blogging practice but I haven’t posted in four days or something and that is also bad blogging practice so I guess I’m going to hell anyway.

While I do this I need you guys to be aware of some serious, serious stuff.

It has to do with contraception. Everyone takes or uses some form of contraception to regulate periods, to fit in with the cool kids, to piss your parents off, to lessen the risk of getting herpes or as a measure against having a kid when you aren’t ready for one. The contraception we are going to focus on is the pill.

100 million women worldwide use “THE PILL” (reference). We all know that the humble, little pill is actually where Sea Monkeys made all of their money in Puerto Rico in the ’50s and ’60s. Now they are an international enterprise and control all of the world’s oil. What happens when a chick takes the pill is the little Sea Monkey soldiers march on down to the egg and smash it to bits etc etc.

The Sea Monkeys are the little pink pills in the packet. They are kind of cool, but not as interesting as the little white guys that are in there with them. These pills are the pills that you take when you are meant to have your period. They don’t do anything to stop you getting pregnant in a chemical way – they are just there to ensure you don’t break the habit.

What these pills are is what is shocking. These pills are a bid by the companies who produce them to fill the world with special needs dieters and vegans.

This is a sleep500 exclusive on WHYYYYYYYYYY

The sugar pills are made out of lactose. This is a retarded idea. Heaps of people in this world are lactose intolerant. Do you make coffee? Every motherfucker and his/her kids and pets drink soy milk bowl lattes because having normal milk gives them diarrhea and makes them murder baby rabbits. They order bowl lattes because they want to fuck the Amazon rainforest by drinking more soy product.

In the US, 30-50 million people are lactose intolerant. (reference) This is about 10-15% of their population. Americans are Caucasian like most New Zealanders, so we can probably deduce that around the same percentage of New Zealanders are lactose intolerant. Heaps of those people are chicks and heaps of chicks take the pill, is what I am trying to say. If these chicks take the sugar pill they get fucked up. Don’t be saying, “But Zach, the sugar pill is pretty small. I don’t think it would really affect anyone.” The sugar pill is only a bit smaller than an E and you’ve seen/experienced/heard about what E does to people. Think about what taking an E a day for seven days in a row would do to you.

Another issue is that vegans cannot take the sugar pill. Lactose comes from dairy products and dairy products COME FROM ANIMALS!

So, evidently the pill companies want lactose intolerant and vegan people to have babies. This isn’t because they want to fill the world up with lactose intolerant people (lactose intolerance is not really genetic – my Mum is lactose intolerant and I’m not) or vegans (I don’t know how genetic veganism is). It is because they want these people to have babies when they are seventeen and therefore have hard lives and probably not make much money and buy houses that they probably can’t afford and borrow money to pay for the house they can’t afford then when the banks want their money back and can’t get it we get a recession.

THEY ARE CAUSING THE RECESSION.

Oh fuck, I was researching this and I have just realised that things were worse than I thought. I now see the bigger picture:

Between 30 and 50 million Americans are lactose intolerant and certain ethnic and racial populations are more affected than others. Up to 80 percent of African Americans, 80 to 100 percent of American Indians, and 90 to 100 percent of Asian Americans are lactose intolerant. The condition is least common among people of northern European descent. (reference)

THE PILL COMPANIES ARE RACISTS! FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING PIGS! INSTEAD OF TAKING THOSE FUCKING SUGAR PILLS I AM GOING TO BUY CHICKS THOSE REALLY YUMMY FRUIT LOLLIES THAT I LIKE! THEY ARE MADE OF FRUCTOSE AND NOT MANY PEOPLE ARE ALLERGIC TO THAT. WAIT, I WILL JUST GET THEM SOMETHING MADE OUT OF GLUCOSE BECAUSE NO ONE CAN BE ALLERGIC TO THAT.

So, fuck the pill companies and their racist, racist schemes.

Glow-worms are fucking lame and boring. I would rather get stung by bees than see glow-worms. Glow-worms are boring as fuck because:

1) P.E. teachers think they are cool.
2) P.E. teachers go home and think, “Well, I thought I booked the gym for Thursday, but apparently Mrs. Jones’ class has it booked and it is probably going to rain on Thursday so I can’t use the field. And I know that Tyson Namu’tu is going to play up if he has to do another cross-word about the Latin names of the bones in the body. He hates ‘phalanges’ for some reason. Actually, I don’t give a fuck what happens on Thursday because I am going to be lying in a bath-tub of blood for five hours.”
3) Whenever you are going to some shitty cave to see glow-worms who ever is chaperoning your hot date tells you to be really quiet or the glow-worms will stop glowing. This is bullshit. Glow-worms don’t give a fuck about noise and shit. I doubt they can even hear. I don’t see normal worms freaking the fuck out when it is cricket day and all the ‘dudes’ are out on the field with their stereos pumping The Edge/91ZM and this new band they heard of called “Justice” who are a Christian band but they are still cool. How are glow-worms going to turn their skin off? They aren’t – shut the fuck up.
4) Ever wonder why P.E. teachers wear shorts all the time? Because they can’t make rational decisions. Anyone who thinks it is a “profession” to go to work in shorts needs to spend some serious time in a basement with a drill and someone who spends hours and hours a day watching mid-budget soap operas.
5) Ironically, P.E. teachers are the fat kids of the teaching world. They get made fun of for being too fit for school and they think they are big news because they went to Sydney for their O.E. and the time they met Jerry Collins. They relate to the kiddies because of that time they smoked marijuana cigarettes in high school.