19 Ways To Order A Flat White: Flat white, please; one large flat white; one small flat white; a flattie, thanks; the regular, please; a small flattie, mate; a big flattie, please; a white coffee; small white; large white; what he had; what Stuart normally gets; your smallest cup with not-quite-latté milk; just whatever; that [...]
HAVE YOU KIDS SEEN THIS SHIT? I challenge you to find anything funnier on the internet posted today. Grammar aside, how funny is this as a pull quote? All of this [hacking] had been done within 30-40 minutes. Could of been faster if I didn’t stop to laugh so much. Yesterday some lady laughed at [...]
Now I remember why I go to work!
Dear Zealous Security Guard, It is enough for you to know that I possess a security pass as I do not believe it necessary for me to display it at all times on my outer garment so I can sit here and watch people walk to the toilet. Yours, Zach. P.S. In future, please leave [...]
At my job as a coffee whore we usually ask people if they want sugars in their coffee because when I put a sugar in a coffee I throw the rubbish in the bin. Not many people have figured out that the hole with rubbish in it is a bin (either that or they think it’s a “special” bin or something) and they generally leave their milky shit all over the bench where I can’t see it.
Ok, I know you guys have been going CRAZY for the zoo blog in the comments but I haven’t had the time to sit down for a good two hours and really write something worth posting on the Internet about it. Instead I’ve been playing mad Quake III LANs and not sleeping. Anyway, today I [...]
Yesterday when I turned up to work everyone was all,”OMG ZACH – WHAT TIME ARE YOU MEANT TO START???? OMG WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO RING YOU BUT WE DON’T HAVE YOUR NUMBER BECAUSE IT’S IN THE MANAGER’S OFFICE AND IT IS LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE WEEKEND AND OMG WE THOUGHT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE [...]
Today I am doing traffic surveying for the firm I work for, and it sucks. Basically I had to sit and watch cars for two hours this morning, then this afternoon I have to do it for four hours. And again tomorrow. Although it sucks, it has helped me to be able to unveil to [...]