Me: “Hello, I have a limit of $1000 daily on transfers out of my account, and would like to change this.”

Teller: “We can’t do that. You can only do that on the internet.”

Me: “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… Really? Even though I have photo ID on my person?”

Teller: “Yes.

Me: “..Oh, err.. How do I do this via my internet banking? How long will it take?”

Teller: “Well I don’t know! I don’t actually use internet banking myself, just set people up to use it. I guess it would take 24 hours. Hold up, I’ll try and work it out.

*CLICK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLICK CLICK*

Teller: “OK. So, you go into this screen, click this, and you get sent a number which you then put into this box.”

Me: “OK Thaaaanks bye.”

I arrived home, logged onto internet banking, and found the appropriate button. After clicking this button, I was greeted with the message of:

“Thankyou. Within 5 business days you will receive your code in the mail.”

Me: “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I then called up ANZ to query the fact that I could not personally change a setting on my own banking account in a branch with ID, instead I had to wait up to a week to change one simple detail.
The answer I received was that if there was a corrupt person working at the bank who wanted to steal my monies they could change it!!1!!! So they have to send it away to a mystical supercomputer to generate a code for me to use, for my safety. Surely banks have measures that stop employees hoarding the millions of their customers? Or do they sit in their offices on Saturday nights, squirreling away sums of $7.50 from peoples bank accounts that weary kiddies assume they have spent on drinks at Capitol?

tl;dr – Does anyone bank with a bank that isn’t actually shit?

Internet banking is something my Dad is kind of scared of and I understand his concern to some extent because I logged on to my bank account today and I saw THIS:!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I just rang the bank. The $0.00 CR thing is a glitch in Westpac’s system that happens when you have more than six figures of credit available in a recession and the bank don’t want just any motherfucker to know about it.

Rad.

P.S. Sorry I didn’t put these images on very well. When I have my computer I will spend a little bit more time.
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