OK SO YEAH, IT’S NOT LIKE 28 DAYS LATER?? EXPLAIN THIS THEN.

Yes, I have a porthole.

THE ZOMBIE EPIDEMIC IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

“Swine flu” is what they are calling it. People are getting sick and it is super contagious and soon EVERYONE will be a zombie except for maybe a couple of people who are immune because they have genes from the dinosaur end of the gene pool and can eat rat poison and pretend it is those aniseed lollies that are kind of gross (the pink ones).

Things To Do In Preparation For The Zombie Takeover:

Find a weapon.

Good weapons include: Shotgun, scythe, axe, long pole-arm type weapon.

Get supplies

Get them before the zombies take over. This is important.

Escape

Go rural, less population density means FEWER ZOMBIES.

Try to get to an oil rig with lots of food.

Zombies can’t swim. You can fish for food. What powers oil rigs? Generators. What do generators run on? Oil. Oil Rig.

Yes I read the Zombie Survival Guide but it is long and you guys need information NOW.

No images because THERE IS NO TIME.